“We’ve been together for two years but we’re taking a break.”
This seems to be the norm in our generation in relation to dating, and it’s very frustrating because most of the time, it’s so vague and ambiguous.
There are a lot of articles on the Internet pointing out signs that you should “take a break” from your S.O. or the benefits and even the downsides of taking one.
But what about providing alternatives?
For whatever reason you and your S.O. have decided to take a break, consider taking these alternatives.
#1. Communicate and resolve underlying issues with your S.O.
Couples don’t decide to take a break because they’re happy, which means there was probably some tension between you and your S.O. when the two of you went on a break.
The thing that most people get wrong about taking a break is that they think that being apart will give the problems enough time to fix themselves, which will, as a result, make them happy again.
Problems don’t fix themselves. The only thing you’re doing is running away from them and shoving them under the rug.
Try to discuss and pinpoint the underlying conflicts. That way, if both of you are willing to work on them, instead of hiding them, you can resolve them.
Communication is the key to every healthy and successful relationship, especially in times of conflict. There’s nothing wrong with conflict, it’s just how the two of you handle it that matters.
#2. Spend time individually to evaluate the condition of the relationship.
Most couples take a break because they feel the need time to figure out what they want as individuals. That’s actually a good reason to take a break.
But you don’t need to be taking a break to evaluate the condition of the relationship. You can and should be doing that on your own occasionally and throughout, not just for a week or so.
So the next time you feel the need to suggest taking a break with your S.O., try to make time to do reflection when you’re alone.
#3. Practice being honest, but out of love.
In a perfect world, everyone would be honest with each other and no one would feel like they need to try to guess what the other person is thinking or feeling.
Unfortunately, this world is far from perfect and we’re not always going to be brutally honest with every single person we interact with.
But with your S.O. you must be able to feel like you can be honest without fear of getting retribution from them.
Be honest but don’t be critical. Tell your S.O. how you feel but don’t spout off everything he/she did wrong that is making you upset or uneasy. That’s not speaking out of love, but bitterness.
#4. Break up.
This is a really hard reality to accept but if for some reason, you or your S.O. or both of you don’t want to work on the relationship or if there was infidelity present, just break up.
It’s tough, I get it. I’ve had to break off two relationships in the past but had a hard time because I didn’t want to be a jerk and break their hearts.
But it’s certainly a lot more respectful and well-off breaking it off sooner than later if either or both of you don’t see it improving or want to work on it anymore.
Featured Image: Bigstock