Having a friend is a blessing and something that none of us should take granted for.
But as much of a positive effect that they may have on our lives, toxic friendships only tear us down and even contribute to the way we’re feeling about life and about ourselves.
No matter how much you may care for your friend, there are times when you need to let them go and keep them out of your life for however long is necessary.
For whatever reason you have for breaking up with a friend, here are some things to keep in mind about friendship break-ups.
#1. Be open to a possible reconciliation in the future.
Maybe your friend betrayed you or falsely accused you of something, either out of jealousy or because they’re just mean in nature.
It hurts, it’s not easy and you should grieve the way that you would as if you were going through a break-up with your S.O.
But don’t be completely closed off to reconnect with that friend if either they reach out to you or by circumstance, you and your friend end up having contact again.
Who knows? Maybe during that time apart, your friend will have matured and learned how to take responsibility or to treat you with respect and love.
#2. But you have the choice to completely disconnect.
Depending on the severity or how things ended between you and your friend, you may decide to not reconcile with them ever again, and that’s okay.
Don’t feel like you have to reconnect with them just because a significant time has passed, because that doesn’t necessarily mean your friend has changed for the better.
If your friend betrayed you and your friendship in a very devastating way, you’re not obligated to even try to make the friendship work again.
#3. Forgiving your friend doesn’t mean reconciliation.
Many people are misinformed about what forgiveness really is. You can forgive someone without actually telling them. You can forgive someone but you don’t have to forget it.
Forgiving your friend does not guarantee reconciliation and your friend is not entitled to it just because you decided to forgive them.
Yes, live a life of forgiveness in all of your relationships, but remember that it doesn’t always guarantee that you and your friend will be out of the woods.
#4. Not all friendships are made to last and that’s okay.
I look back on my friendships from elementary school, middle school and high school, and I get nostalgic because I miss them and I fondly reminisce on the memories I made with them.
But we’re no longer in contact with each other, because life happened. All of us have changed, either for better or worse, and we’ve made new friends going into college.
It’s tough to face the reality that some friendships will not last or be there in every season of your life. The good news is that you will meet new people and it may blossom into great friendships.
#5. Learn when and how to let go.
There’s only so much you can do to mend a broken friendship, no matter how much you love or care for your friend.
Every relationship is a two-way street and a friendship is no different. If you’re in a one-sided friendship and your friend does not have interest in making it work, let them go.
Sometimes, letting go of something or someone may be the best decision for you, so that you can move forward and continue to focus on creating new friendships.
#6. Learn from your mistakes and bring it to your new friendships.
The ending of a relationship is a result of mistakes that were made by both people involved in it, and since no one is perfect, you probably made some.
But guess what? You can learn from them and then bring that into the new friendships that you’ll make down the line. That’s how you grow.
Instead of dwelling in woe and regret and thinking things like, “If only I didn’t do this or wasn’t like this, we would still be friends,” take a deep breath and realize that you can start fresh.
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