Relationships require work, but it can be difficult to know just when it’s become too much.
Though they take on many forms and face a variety of different obstacles, there are a few common problems that are often warning signs for an unhealthy relationship.
Is it time for you and your S.O. to break up? Here are a few reasons why it may just be time to bring a turbulent relationship to its end.
#1. Your S.O. doesn’t respect your needs.
One of the biggest signs of an unhealthy relationship is a disregard for your individual needs.
As a relationship develops, we often fail to notice harmful patterns that may cause an inequality in the amount of care, affection and attention that each partner contributes.
This can be very hurtful to the neglected partner, and sometimes even emotionally destructive.
Everyone has needs that have to be met and validated, so if you feel that this may be lacking, ask yourself a few questions.
- Are they willing to work with or around the things that impact your health and well-being?
- Do they respect your choices, friends, and preferences?
- Do they respect the values and principles in your life that are important to you?
If you find yourself shaking your head, it may be time to call it quits.
#2. You feel like you’re becoming someone else.
Unhealthy relationships can take a huge toll on our character, and it can take shape in a number of different ways.
Unusual mood swings, a new sense of emotional dependence, or the development of unhealthy habits can all be signs that you and your partner are in a toxic relationship.
Sometimes even seemingly healthy people can make for an unhealthy couple, so while it may not be the fault of you or your S.O., there may be personal differences that cause you to bring out the worst in both of you.
#3. Your emotions aren’t validated.
It goes without saying: no one likes to be told that their emotions are irrational or that they are meaningless.
Whether it’s demeaning your excitement or shrugging off your sadness, it can be disappointing and hard to bear if you’re feeling like your partner isn’t there for you.
While communication is important to making sure that each other’s emotions are being understood, simply ignoring the importance of an S.O.’s emotional needs isn’t acceptable.
#4. You feel emotionally drained after spending time together.
Everyone needs alone time, but seeing your partner should feel like a treat not a chore.
If you’ve found that the idea of spending an extended amount of time with them makes you stressed, tired, or anxious, these may be conscious cues tuned in to the fact that you’re not in a healthy and edifying relationship.
Feeling drained after spending time with them is another sign that things are probably turning sour and spiraling downhill.
#5. Close friends and family members don’t approve of the relationship.
While it’s ultimately your decision, friends and family often know best when it comes to you and your happiness, and they may pick up on things you aren’t noticing yourself.
If the people closest to you are noticing red flags, don’t shut down their attempts to warn you. Take their input at face-value and explore whether or not their concerns are warranted.
These are the people who want the best for you, so their judgment in these matters should hold some weight.
#6. You feel that you’re always walking on eggshells.
Talking to a partner shouldn’t be a daily struggle, and if it feels like you have to shy away from serious conversations or even the small stuff, it’s probably a sign that things are too turbulent to recover from.
If it seems that even simple conversations are constantly turning into arguments, take some time off to cool down and consider why this has been such a common pattern.
There are numerous reasons that couples fight, but if it seems to be a consistent clash in personalities or ideals, these disagreements are likely a foreshadow of bigger troubles ahead.
#7. Every day is a power struggle.
Manipulation is toxic for any relationship, but this is especially true of a romantic one.
Underhanded tactics, petty insults and degrading comments can all be ways of asserting one’s role as the dominant partner in the relationship, and when taken to the extreme, this kind of behavior can be emotionally harmful and even abusive.
Healthy relationships manage to find a power dynamic where both partners benefit and feel at ease with their personal roles.
If a romantic partnership isn’t built upon these foundations of respect, compassion, and compatibility, it is not only destined to fail, but it will hurt one or both of the people involved.
If these things apply to your relationship, consider whether or not the partnership is right for you and your S.O.
Even good people can fall into bad patterns, so remember to keep your happiness in mind when looking at the impact your S.O. has on your mental, emotional and personal well-being.
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