Coping with Betrayal

Burning Photo With Ex-girlfriend

Infidelity, deception, disloyalty, abandon, or sellout, betrayal comes in many forms. Friends you trusted and didn’t trust you back.

Family you helped out of a jam and didn’t help you out of yours. A good marriage ends in unfaithfulness. Simply put, betrayal is painful.

You have a choice. You can let it consume you or you can battle through it. Keeping the pain inside is unhealthy for your mental, physical, and emotional health.

Facing betrayal will remove the pain permanently. However, coping with betrayal isn’t easy. Luckily, these methods provide the bright side of betrayal.

#1. Say positive things about yourself.

Instead of blaming yourself or the other person for the incident, say positive things about yourself. Embrace your uniqueness.

The betrayal is not your fault; you did the right thing. The person or people isn’t worthy of you. Don’t give them another thought.

#2. Release the pressure.

Take painful memories and search for the positive parts about it. If you can’t find anything positive, turn the bad memory away.

In time, the memory will remain but it won’t be as painful. In the meanwhile, live life uninterrupted and focus on the family and friends you can trust.

#3. Find out what the betrayal taught you.

A lesson exists. If you can’t find it, you will make the same mistake. A lesson everyone can take with them is listening to your gut and notice the warning signs.

#4. Consider if the trust can be rebuilt.

If the answer is no, leaving the situation and people responsible behind begins the healing process. Saying yes requires healing from you and the responsible person/people.

If you are willing to do this completely, and not forgiving until the next argument or fight breaks out, give it a shot. The real question becomes whether the other person wants to forgive as well.

Something as simple as an apology is a step toward forgiveness, and that deserves recognition. While you may not forgive the incident, accept the apology and communicate toward a positive solution.

#5. Don’t punish them but be understanding.

A betrayal can turn kind-hearted people into cold-hearted robots. We believe we’re over betrayal, but meeting a potential trustworthy ally keeps us on edge.

Our trust remains guarded, and we only feed the new person crumbs instead of the main course. This is called punishing.

Punishing future lovers and friends due to past betrayal is self-sabotaging present and future relationships.

Therefore, be understanding when you pull away suddenly or react in a negative manner.

The new person doesn’t know what happened in your past life. Explain the reaction to the person so new relationships can flourish.

#6. Forgive that person when the time is right.

A word attached to moving forward from betrayal is forgiveness. Do you need to forgive to heal?

Instances where the act of betrayal is too painful to offer forgiveness will test whether the answer is ‘yes’. Therefore, don’t answer it. Forgive at the right moment.

Since everyone’s timetable is different, forgiveness may not come today. Forgiving immediately or soon after the betrayal isn’t real forgiveness; it’s only for show. Whom are you trying to please?

Likewise, instances occur where a person never forgives. Shockingly, you can heal without forgiving the person.

Forgive yourself using the numbered list above. Failure to perform self-forgiveness results in resentment, blame, loathing, and a grudge deep in your heart.

You’ll constantly torture yourself about the betrayal and never move on. Other words like fear, insecurity, and revenge take over the broken heart. It never ends, and it never leaves.

In conclusion, moving on from betrayal isn’t an overnight process. Allow yourself breathing room to heal at your pace. You will conquer betrayal. Peace and happiness will fill your soul.

Featured Image: Bigstock

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