Channeling positive energy keeps us moving forward and when we run out of energy, we rely on close family, friends, and significant other. Likewise, you are there for their needs. If only the world was this perfect.
Unfortunately, they can constantly belittle every decision we make. Their words can put us down and keep us there. They may remind you that you’re never doing enough for them when they’ve never returned the favor.
Consistent criticism like this becomes destructive to our mental and emotional spirit. The negative cycle becomes toxic, and the only way out is to cut ties.
Signs of a Toxic Relationship
- It’s a selfish, one-sided relationship.
- Every argument is about explaining yourself and your choices.
- Every argument results in blame games or the silent treatment.
- You always compromise and the other person accepts it and never compromises.
- Gossip spreads about you and others take the gossiper’s side and criticize you to the point where you question and you doubt yourself.
- The stress resulting from negative behavior affects work, sleep, and the children.
- Every conversation is centered around asking you for money.
- Everything that comes out of their mouth is negative.
- The relationship turns physically violent or abusive.
All it takes is one on this list to create a toxic relationship. Don’t let ‘tough love’ type phrases fool you; there’s a difference between constructive criticism and destructive criticism.
Constructive criticism accompanies a solution while destructive criticism leads to dead ends. The best supporters are tough without negativity.
#1. Physically leave and cut off all communication.
If you’re in a toxic situation, saying it’s over or I’m moving out to their face isn’t concrete. Physically plan and move out of the house into a loving environment.
Don’t call, email, text, socialize, chat on social media, and waste your energy thinking about them. This includes holidays, birthdays, and other special events.
#2. Let out all of your feelings in a healthy way.
Release bottled anger constructively through exercise, writing it down, painting, or joining a support group. Let go of grudges to self-heal.
Removing the toxic is easy; sticking to it is tough. You’ll always feel the urge to forgive and forget because they’re family. The constant push and pull struggle feels like a rollercoaster ride.
#3. Accept that you can’t change them.
Realize that their love is never coming. Despite trying repeatedly, you never reached their expectations. They never take responsibility and won’t see you as a human being.
#4. Practice self-care and be kind to yourself.
Therefore, accept and love yourself. Praise yourself each day, and practice doing it. Become aware of patterns where you want to return to the toxic person and resist it at every turn.
Search for people who accept you for you. The best friends will spill the truth and provide encouragement. If nothing else, be loyal and true to yourself. I know you won’t let yourself down!
The benefits of escaping toxic relationships such as freedom, fresh starts, and self-awareness outweigh staying in it.
I survived a marriage with a narcissist who was mentally and verbally abusive. I was trapped in my mind thinking something was wrong with me until one day I witnessed an action with wasband and one of our very young children. It was that incident that made the light bulb go off which made me realize this wasn’t all my fault and that I couldn’t fix it or wait to try to fix it any longer. I got out. I remarried the antithesis of my first husband. I’m still deliriously happy after 20 years.
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