Sometimes, it is necessary to eliminate certain people from your life if they negatively impact it.
While some friends come and go, others are much more difficult to distance yourself from whether it’s because you have a long history with them or you simply don’t wish to hurt their feelings.
Many stay friends with toxic people, but if you want to detach yourself from them, here is how you can make that happen.
1. Be sure you want to disconnect yourself from this person.
Nobody is perfect and everyone has habits that bug you, even your best friends. Is this friend toxic or do they have minor flaws that annoy you here and there?
If they are the former, then they should be removed from your life. If they are the latter, hangout with them in smaller doses and see how you feel about your friendship.
In other words, if their bad traits outweigh their good characteristics, they are toxic. You have to determine whether this person is truly worth losing, otherwise, you might regret your decision.
2. Steadily distance yourself.
Avoid cutting off all communication with the person at once. Not only will they notice that you are suddenly ignoring them, but that’s not a respectable way to end a friendship.
In order to gradually drift, spend less time messaging and spending time with them. Unless the person is one of your closest friends, they may not take notice that you’re intentionally detaching yourself. They will probably assume you have been busy with life (adulting, in millennial terms).
People understand that friends drift all the time, so this person might be content with the fact they see less of you. If that’s the case, you may be able to continue staying friends at a distance.
3. Put your well-being first.
Just like a romantic relationship, if you’re in an unhealthy friendship, you have to put yourself first. After all, not everyone is worthy of your love and attention.
Friendship is supposed to bring joy into your life, not constant negativity. Friends go through hardships, but is the person worth keeping around if they are negatively influencing your life?
Try to not feel guilty for eliminating someone who has been a terrible friend. Your well-being should always come first. Besides, remaining friends with people who are toxic will only cause you to resent them over time.
4. When, and if your friend confronts you, tell them the truth.
Do not be surprised if your friend begins to take notice of the distance you’ve created.
You don’t have to provide a long explanation, but be honest about why you’ve decided to cut ties. It won’t be an easy conversation to have, but they need to know why they are losing you.
Don’t forget to remind them that you will always cherish the memories you have with them, and thank them for everything they have done for you.