Benefits You Can Reap from Having Shallow Conversations

The word, shallow, is traditionally not a word met with positive opinion. Yet, there is great value in being shallow by not fully involving your personal life to strangers.

My intentions are not to persuade you to forget important details about your friends, not take any matter seriously, or be petty for no reason (unless it’s funny).

Shallowness is supposed to act as a form of protection, so you don’t tell your humiliating, teenage, acne-ridden stories to people who may take advantage of that.

This is undoubtedly an awkward yet relatable topic. It’s one which you understand if you have gone to a business conference or even attended the family reunion that happens every year at Meemaw’s.

Here are the main benefits you can reap from engaging in shallow conversations.

1. It acts as a distraction from the more difficult subjects right now.

It is not an exaggeration to say that the pandemic has fully affected the majority of our lives right now. You receive news stories on a regular basis about how COVID still affects you after having it for two weeks or how doing one specific action will protect you from the virus.

It’s difficult to not be overwhelmed with anxiety on how the future will become. Yet, talking about how one singer really flopped this week or how there has been rain for 3 days of the week may help to distract you during these unpredictable times.

You can also participate in one of the major trends right now which is to focus on nostalgia. It can feel like a comforting hug when you mention in detail memories together with old friends. Even if it is just for an hour or two, your mind goes off in that time period.

2. It gives you good practice to have conversations in a professional environment.

A future employer or colleague does not need to know the boyfriend who broke your heart in your freshman year of college. Professional environments are where small talk thrives.

Polite chit-chat can be necessary for your future career, so it is important that everyone’s manners stay diplomatic. You need to be the king or queen of peace.  

Mastering small talk such as letting people know about your pertinent interests or about what you currently do sets a proper framework for networking with other people. Ultimately, you can’t get too personal and involved because professional meetings are for business.  

3. It’s also good practice for meeting new people in a casual setting.

First dates are naturally very awkward and shouldn’t include that cringe-worthy moment from last year where you had an embarrassing breakdown crying on the floor. This is where shallow conversations come to rescue your anxiety.

A good analogy for using shallow conversations on dates is like solving a puzzle. You start off with the easiest part being to find the corners which can represent the basic areas of someone’s life. After putting those together, you are able to solve the core of the puzzle like how you now can ask more about the core of the person.

The segment about friends may sound a bit confusing. However, you know this following scenario of when you are in a gathering that your close friend has put together.

You naturally are introduced to a few or many people throughout that evening. You would want to know how to approach them by a basic level of conservation. Then, those people can help you meet other people, and your network grows.


Shallow is often used as a derogatory insult. One can argue that shallowness is one of the ingredients needed for many businesses to survive, but that’s a different topic.

The whole point is to say there is no shame in having some shallow conversation. Conversations do not have to result in massive think pieces where one mansplains the entire time, and only a quarter of the listeners can understand what is said.  

A lot of times it is about reaching only the surface level. It can be for times when you do not want to connect with the other person and when you realize you can only truly connect with a very select group of people.

Everyone should be treated with fair conversation, but not everyone should be treated with a deep conversation.


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