You’ve made it – the wait is over. Your long distance relationship has begun the next chapter, and you can’t wait to finally stop waiting. However, there are some things that you need to know when reuniting after a long distance relationship to make the transition a smooth one.
1. Talk about your living situation.
There are two options for couples after long distance: moving in together or continuing to live separately. If you decide to live in separate locations, the living situation isn’t a drastic change – you just get to see each other more often than before. A toothbrush and some clothes may find their way to your homes, but nothing too crazy.
If you decide to move in together, make sure it makes sense for both of you. As exciting as it is, here are some things to consider:
- Can you both afford it? Will the bills be split evenly?
- Is the new location convenient for both of your jobs?
- Who will do which chores?
- Will your parents be supportive?
- How will we proactively make time for our friends?
You’ll be seeing each other every single day minus the time you’re both at work. Laying down expectations beforehand will prevent arguments in the future.
2. Establish a routine.
For some couples, it is easy to get into a routine. But for others, it’s not so easy and that’s to be expected, trying to merge two separate living routines into one. For couples living together, it can be helpful to break up your day into “me” time, work hours, and time with your S.O.
By balancing time for yourself and for the relationship, neither of you will bound to feel neglected. Of course, there’s always those couples who just love spending every minute with each other including their “me” time, and that’s great too!
If you’re living apart, there may be the expectation that you will see each other all of the time. This may not be possible with work obligations, or friends and family that want to spend time with you both. In the same sense, you will need to block off time to spend with each other and time for yourself so that everything is kept in equilibrium.
No matter what, try your hardest to keep your promises. Make it home by dinner, don’t forget anniversaries, and prioritize their needs over yours. Both of you should be relying on each other more than ever, and acts of kindness should be reciprocated
3. Learn to disagree without fighting.
Seeing your significant other more often, possibly every single day, may bring about different arguments than before. These arguments are typically more petty and mood dependent. Maybe you have heard these bits of advice before:
- Don’t go to bed angry.
- However – lack of sleep is the answer to most problems
- In an argument, focus on talking about your feelings and saying “we,” rather than using accusatory statements.
- Don’t let small annoyances build up to an explosive argument later on.
- Decide how you both will resolve a stalemate when you are both calm.
There’s a reason why these maxims consistently ring true. There’s also a reason why they are so hard to follow. Human nature often puts us at our most defensive with the people we are comfortable with, and we forget common courtesies.
Our bodies release chemicals that flare our tempers and stress us emotionally. Hang a list of argument instructions on your fridge or keep one on your phone so these “rules” become engrained in your head.
Finally putting an end to the long-distance part of your relationship is a huge feat of trust and commitment. Nevertheless, the road does not end here. If this is the right relationship for both of you, keep on going full steam ahead and don’t lose that trust or commitment.
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