I would like to personally thank each individual who acted with unkindness toward me.
Though I am aware this strikes many as an unpopular opinion, with many holding horrible memories of such events, being able to pull the smallest of light from these situations is truly beneficial.
Bullies are indeed a part of life that many of us have had to endure. Some may only have come across them in grade school, while others encountered them in adulthood.
No matter the time or circumstances, it’s important to thank them for they may be partially credited with helping to build confidence.
Somewhere along the way in college, I came across a helpful idea: “Every experience is a positive experience.”
While acknowledging the event, that statement actively makes the choice to take control of the situation. Although it’s a relatively straightforward concept, trying to turn every experience into a positive one is much easier in theory than in practice.
I can’t promise an immediate change in thought and I won’t tell you that I figured it out in a day. You’ll catch yourself becoming overwhelmed as I have, which is fine. We are, after all, human. I can, however, promise that practice is worth it.
Certainly, many people in situations involving a bully may be inclined to become upset or angry. Questions may arise; a person may ask himself or herself if the instance is a reflection of them.
Am I being harassed because I deserve this? Am I easy to intimidate?
While some of these questions may be born out of a person’s distressed emotional state, it’s still important to ask yourself questions about the situation, the person you are dealing with, and need to be careful not to make quick assumptions.
The reason why you are being harassed could simply be that you caught someone in a less than favorable mood.
No one deserves to be harassed, and that should not be the first question you ask yourself. As for my own experience, I asked myself if, and if so, why I was so easily intimidated.
That line of questions led me to discover that I wanted to work on my self confidence and finding my voice. Acting as an outsider looking in and examining these happenings helps to interpret them as events in which something can be gained.
Instead of suffering at the words of those who sought a reaction, I reviewed my reactions and ventured to understand why I reacted that way in the first place.
Although I continue to work on these things, such as self love and confidence, I owe part of this journey to those who picked on me because without the negative, I wouldn’t have been able to appreciate, as well as create the positive.
And, of course, to further implement my want to lead a life of kindness. Naturally, every person’s situation is different, yet the idea of turning a negative into a positive dates back to bedtime story lessons long forgotten.
For both bullies and those who have been bullied, such experiences are ones of growth—and, can be positive if chosen to be viewed that way.