When Confrontation Isn’t Your Forte

No matter how long you’ve been in a relationship for, someone will always do or say something that the other person doesn’t like.

For some people it’s easy to talk about what’s bothering them and resolve the issue, but for others it may come as a challenge. No matter how difficult it may be, it’s imperative that these issues are addressed to ensure a healthy relationship!

If you’re someone who has trouble communicating when a problem arises, here are some tips for you.

1. Reflect before you confront.

I’m someone who likes to plan out conversations before I have them so that I don’t ramble on without getting to my point.

Phone calls, birthday speeches and bringing up issues are all thought about before being executed. This is a great way to reflect on what’s bothering you in your relationship!

Finding the root of the problem helps you to convey what’s on your mind without confusing your significant other with minor details. Perhaps while you reflect, you also realize that you can work on something to help the issue as well, something not many people do.

Be careful not to overthink however, if something upsets you to the point where you can’t stop thinking about it, it’s most likely something that should be addressed.

2. Don’t make accusations.

When it’s time to talk to your significant other about the problem, keep in mind that their reactions may not be what you expected.

Listen to what they are saying and work with each other to resolve the problem. It’s a great idea to form your sentences in ways that are not accusatory towards your significant other, this will put them on the defensive and causes them to be less receptive to what you’re saying.

Focus on how you feel about the problem rather than the fact that they may be causing a problem. Use formats like “When you say ____, it makes me feel ____” rather than “You do this and I don’t like it”.

Relating the problem to your feelings helps show your significant other that it’s affecting you negatively. Keep in mind that your significant other may not always be understanding for one reason or another, so listen to their side of the story and assess how much they want to resolve the problem.

Confrontation gives you a way to see your significant other in a new way and helps you to learn more about their character.

3. The aftermath

Once the problem has been addressed there’s no guarantee that it will be solved right away.

It may be a problem that needs some extra attention now that everyone is aware of it: Remind your significant other in a gentle way if they forget what you talked about so that it can become second nature to do/say/fix the problem. If it does not change, another talk is most likely in order.

Focus on how willing they appear to be to fix the issue: If they continue to ignore what you’ve said after the conversation, it may be a good idea to reassess the relationship.

Your SO should be doing what they can to make you happy no matter what! Confrontation is a must in relationships as communication is key to a healthy and long-lasting love.

Letting problems fester is not a healthy way to be with your SO, it always ends up being a bigger problem than it should be. Talk to them when you’re upset, it’ll help significantly in the long run!

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