Congratulations! You have broken up with a person who was draining your energy. You’ve escaped the future months or years of turmoil in the relationship. You’ve thrown away or burned everything that reminds you of them.
You’ve cried and deleted all the photos that you had of them. Your curated breakup playlist is on repeat for weeks. However, at nighttime, tears are shed and the memories of them choke you up inside. Your heart breaks over the routine and time lost with the individual.
A rush of sadness comes and goes with each day. You avoid the second chance trope with them but how do you move on without backtracking?
1. Spend time with family and friends.
During the relationship, you are with your partner all the time. You get whisked away and forget about the people who were in your circle.
You chose to do everything with your partner and the act becomes addicting. Most importantly, your brain becomes satisfied with the routine that was created. During the breakup, you become distorted and lost because the routine is over.
Now is the time to hang out with your circle again. This helps to avoid the feeling of loneliness and pain during this time. Say yes to all your friends’ outings and enjoy yourself. This is the time to allow yourself to be loved and cared for by others.
Exploring your independence gives you the time to reinvent yourself. Avoiding your loved ones will cause more negative effects because you are in a vulnerable state, and spending time with your family can give you the quality time that was lost.
You can also vent and express your feelings about the relationship, because your loved ones will always be there for you through all your hiccups and failures in life.
2. Avoid any contact with your ex.
The block button is your best friend. Staying friends with your ex on social media is a slippery slope. At this delicate time, you don’t want any tracing of them on your social media.
You don’t have any control over what they post, and you might end up stalking their page. But this is stagnant behavior and it won’t help you in the long run. Instead, you’ll be repeating your pain and destroying your progress.
This behavior can sometimes lead to contacting them to see how they are doing. You crave updates and their whereabouts to feel connected to their life.
This craving will only lead to more disappointments and failed attempts to get back together. Avoiding your ex will give you the space to grieve and let go without consequences.
3. Enhance your body with healthy food and exercise.
For a weekend outing, travel to the farmers market to pick up fresh fruits and vegetables. Incorporating new foods in your life can boost your mood because you are eating better and opening up your curiosity.
To dedicate more time to your body, stretching and exercising are easy and peaceful options. Stretching can create a space for you to be grounded and appreciate the present moment while exercising can give you the time to blow off steam in a healthy way.
It’s okay to eat comfort food and watch shows that make you happy, but make sure the comfort food doesn’t become a costly and unhealthy habit.
4. Jump into your dream career or pursue your hobbies.
The downside of relationships is that because you are pouring your time and energy into another person, your hobbies and goals get put on the back burner.
This can lead you to neglecting yourself in all areas of life. Now that the relationship is over, you have the freedom to build your career and get back into the hobbies that you love. You can take risks in your career without having anyone holding you back.
Focus on long-term development and it may help you create a new life for yourself. You will be proud of your progression and love yourself for doing this.
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Healing is not a linear process for anyone. Your emotions will fluctuate for a while. However, you will reap more rewards when you focus on reinventing yourself.
Above everything else, loving yourself to stay alone builds strength and autonomy that you can do anything with or without being in a romantic relationship.
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Reflect & Refresh 